Monday, July 14, 2008

Intermission continues: Clyde Converts a Mormon Missonary

Okay, one way or another, I will really get Part 6 of 6 out of the way tomorrow. Today, I once again had an extraneous project that I furiously pecked away at with one hand, between naps, and it took all day for me to do a fraction of a day's worth of work. But I must get this blog out of the hospital and put that stage of my life in the past for good, so I will do it tomorrow, maybe.

In the meantime, I thought that I would fill this intermission with a random picture of Jim, but the first "Jim" that I randomly clicked upon also featured the late Little Clyde Texaco in the process of converting a Mormon missionary to Clyde's own personal feline religion. Clyde called that religion, "Meow." The basic tenants are these: Spend two-thirds of your time napping. Eat all that you can and if you have to take it off of someone else's plate, do so - as long as you can get away with it.

Do anything that you want, anytime you want. If a human disagrees, do it anyway. No matter how bad you are, the human will forgive you, because you are so cute. Every now and then, snuggle up to that human, give that human a head nudge, say "meow" and then purr.

So, anyway, every now and then, a new set of missionaries will knock upon our door in the hope that they might redeem us; bring us back to fold. I have great empathy for them as I know just what it feels like to be in their lonesome shoes, to be wondering if your girlfriend back home who you cannot see for two years, who you fear will be married and pregnant when you finally do get to return home, is, at this very moment, making out with someone else, so I always let them in.

I just tell them not to preach to me and that it is better if we talk about things other than religion and that is best that they not trouble me to trouble them with my current philosophy. If they are hungry, I will feed them.

So these two came by, with a red-headed youth in tow, and sat down upon the front room couch. Jim strolled up and then Clyde came. Clyde sidled up to the Elder in the middle, head-nudged him and purred loudly. Afterward, he did the same to the others. Later, I heard that before this visit, this set of young "Elders" had been the highest performing duo in the entire Alaska mission.

After Clyde purred his sermon, I was yold, they finished their missions as sleepy, nappy, Elders who did whatever they wanted and ate whatever they wanted - even if what they wanted to eat was already sitting on someone else's plate.

Just like Clyde. Damn! I miss that wonderful Clyde! Little Clyde Texaco! What a cat! I even miss his preaching. He made a great deal of sense.


Tryskuit said...

I think I know a little striped tabby that may be one of Clyde's followers. She certainly is fond of taking things off of any plate she can find. In fact, she had a few things today to steal off of other's plates. It is Sunday after all (or was). Maybe its the stripes.

Standtall said...

Are those guys missionaries? They look like triplets (lol). How r u?

Standtall said...

And i wil lbe back to read all the 4 post. My connection is messing up right now and I got to go get fuel for my gen. No electricity as usual

springfang said...

I had some companions on my mission who must have been closet practitioners of "Meow". Occasionally their true beliefs would come out and I couldn't get them to wake up, and sometimes they'd even steal some food off of my plate. Of course, it turns out that a fist to the face tends to put a stop to such practices being performed in public...

...that's not to say that I didn't secretly want to convert, as well...

Grahamn Kracker said...


H'mmmm... I read your comments and I hear the lyris to the song, "Diamon Girl." Why is that?

Standtall - Yes, they are missionaries all right. Maybe they are triplets. As for me, I remain incapacitated, but I feel my injuries beginnin to heal. Each day, now, I feel a bit less fragile than the day before.

Thanks for asking.

Wow! It sounds like a huge challenge for you to keep up with your internet world. This causes me to be all the more impressed with your own blog, and to appreciate the fact that you have chosen to be a regular visitor to mine.

Springfang - Now I try to picture you putting a fist to a face. It is a very hard image for me to conjour up and yet I know that deep in even the most gentle of us the savage beast does reside.

Wherever his spirit might now reside, I feel certain that Clyde will welcome you into his fold at any time.

Standtall said...

U r welcome!!!

I wish you quick and whole recovery